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Super helpful feedback from a kind friend, Yvette. Here's an excerpt from our msn conversation.

z i g g y says:

how did ur crit go?

SHY ...can someone give me their hours? says:

went pretty well.... cleared up a lot of things, especially where to focus and develop

z i g g y says:

cool

z i g g y says:

i like ur graphical representation

SHY ...can someone give me their hours? says:

thanks. i have to work on them to be more consistent tho. was running out of time for some and i just anyhow plant them in

z i g g y says:

how did ya concur on those figures for ur parametric scenario simulation chart?

SHY ...can someone give me their hours? says:

pretty much based on my understanding of Singapore's history and facts..etc

z i g g y says:

so it's a personal scale/perception?

SHY ...can someone give me their hours? says:

erm.. not entirely... there's a portion of it that has a basis on a factual database

z i g g y says:

ah, ok.

z i g g y says:

:) just questioning, so that i know how to interpret ur information

SHY ...can someone give me their hours? says:

yeps

SHY ...can someone give me their hours? says:

there are still loopholes and weak links... as discussed in the last review.. so i will be working them on in the next few days for my midterm next monday

z i g g y says:

wanna hear my general feeling from what i perceive of the boards?

SHY ...can someone give me their hours? says:

yeh.. of cos

z i g g y says:

it's still quite superficial naturally, unless i study it deeper...

SHY ...can someone give me their hours? says:

bring them on

z i g g y says:

ok well, i'd suggest that you be a little more careful with choice of words and phrasing.. each paragraph comes across as being loaded with very strong messages, one after another. and if u're not careful abt substantiating them, they seem like potential potholes that critics wld distract themselves with

z i g g y says:

your first two boards are great because they have some semblance of vision and abstract in them. but as they developed, maybe i'm not understanding them well enough yet, they seem to have lost a bit of that abstract quality in its bid to be more explicit

z i g g y says:

am i making any sense?

SHY ...can someone give me their hours? says:

yeps.. you are. i understand. and you are dead on. it was one of the main comments for my review yesterday. the missing link that i have failed to show.. linking from the 2nd board to the final 2 boards

z i g g y says:

ok personal point of view, i found that ur key ideas of Simulation and Enclaves more enticing than "Pirated City". so i shall go on from there

z i g g y says:

i was engaged with simulation and enclaves.. made me wanna think of ur argument, loopholes etc.. BUT it got me interested

z i g g y says:

it was an architectural idea. whereas PIRATED CITY appears a bit gimmicky, and dated.

z i g g y says:

being interested by ur S & E argument, i was searching for that follow up in ur subsequent boards

z i g g y says:

i guess the question is, what is ur link? to follow up on simulation n enclaves, or ur interpretations of simulation n enclaves as the pirated city

z i g g y says:

i'm actually very curious about how you argued a few of your conceptual statements... im' sure you must have argued well to have ur tutors accept it... things like "fiction=false where in fact fiction=truth" ...

SHY ...can someone give me their hours? says:

what 'architectural' value/potential do you see in the S & E? reason i am asking cos now i am torn between keeping and throwing out the 'S' component. cos i am finding it difficult to defend and develop the simulation part of my thesis

z i g g y says:

yeah you clearly have a lot of ideas ... each one being too loaded with meaning

z i g g y says:

hey u didnt answer my question abt how u argued the fiction=truth item

SHY ...can someone give me their hours? says:

the fiction=truth part is argued based on the current phenomenon of hyperreality found in online 'worlds' like Second Life, Sim City, multiplayer games, etc.

z i g g y says:

and ur tutors bought it?

SHY ...can someone give me their hours? says:

as well as movies like Children of Men.. which takes on the approach of taking a point in real events and depart from it to take on a fictitious route in order to provoke and bring awareness to a underlying issue in society

SHY ...can someone give me their hours? says:

same goes for Gundam... a cartoon about galaxy wars between robots, and 2 races of humans.... spuned from the societal concern about the abuse of human cloning, weapon industries' involvement in 'creating wars' etc....

SHY ...can someone give me their hours? says:

also, i am arguing that many dissimilar factors can actually contribute to a seemingly unrelated issue.... eg.... in the 1970s of wall street... economists found out by chance that the development patterns of the economy actually is very much linked and follows closely to the changes in skirts' lengths of the fashion

z i g g y says:

wait but u're starting to argue abt dissimilar factors contributing to result. causes and effect, more chaos and butterfly theory than fiction

z i g g y says:

see what i mean?

z i g g y says:

i think these are controversial statements u're making which can be very attractive.. but you gotta really tighten your argument and dont give in to loading up your concepts with more concepts...

z i g g y says:

i'm sure you are currently trying to trim down ur concepts... it's probably very very crucial

SHY ...can someone give me their hours? says:

hmm...

SHY ...can someone give me their hours? says:

>>>> The architectural aspect of this thesis, considers the potential of augmented reality as a transformative force that interactively informs architecture, thus rendering the design process no longer exclusively a conscious and intentional act.

Architecture as time and space shift. An overlap of virtual and real zones.

SHY ...can someone give me their hours? says:

yeh.. i am still trying to gather and be trim my thoughts

z i g g y says:

keep at it! u're so close! it's all so exciting :)

z i g g y says:

hey if u're documenting this, send me a copy of it? maybe when i'm home and my mind isnt so tired from work i can help better

SHY ...can someone give me their hours? says:

the fiction part , i would see as part of the creation of these 'parallel universes' , augmented realities of the same space changed by the parametric scenarios from inserted 'failed pasts' ... and though.. the final scenarios din really happen, and considered fiction ... it serves as a reality check and a point of contention and provocation of thought

SHY ...can someone give me their hours? says:

hey.. you are super helpful! i need these discussions to clear out my thought. You really got me there.. when you got me 'desperately' trying to defend and articulate the 'fiction' argument

z i g g y says:

:) yeah i cld see u fumbling a bit.. but it's ok cos this is the time isn't it, to really clear ur thoughts

z i g g y says:

try to define ur key terms... try this if u havent already:

1. thesis statement. keep this concise.

2. every loaded word you use in #1, prepare a definition for the way you're using it. again, keep this definition concise, 1 or 2 sentences max.

z i g g y says:

then if u continue to build upon this like a tree, u might come to realise a few concepts dont belong anywhere and u can trim those out

z i g g y says:

ur thesis abstract ... "Thesis deals" with City + Architecture <--via Enclaves

z i g g y says:

"Thesis investigates" Ubanism + Architecture >> giving u City

z i g g y says:

it's a bit loosely linked.. infact, seems like u're discussing two different ideas

z i g g y says:

i'm just brainstorming, ignore stuff i say that will confuse things ok

z i g g y says:

when u say INTERSECTION OF THE CITY AND ARCHITECTURE > that splits the city and architecture very clearly. is that your intention?

z i g g y says:

architecture is read by many as the Event at these intersections

z i g g y says:

by positing that there is an intersection between the city and architecture, you posit architecture as stagnent and formal, as opposed to dynamic

z i g g y says:

if that is ur intention thats cool..